Heavy Heart

Report cards are finished, submitted, and printed. Now to just fold them and send them home. One fiasco finished.  Progress Reports for IEP goals are almost finished to go home with them. Grant to the Okemos Education Foundation submitted so that (hopefully!) they will decide to fund my Apple iPad 2 requests :) Excited and hopeful for that!

We had a crazy conversation between my kiddos, the parapro, and myself today.

C: Do you have any kids?
Me: Nope! I have two cats. And all of you are my kids!
L: When we grow up will you marry one of us??????
Me: (laughing) No, silly, I'm already married. Plus you're too young for me!
...a minute or two later as we are walking down the hallway, half way to music...
L: Are you going to marry Mr. G?
Me: (again laughing) No... he's married, too. We're both taken care of. Don't worry, someone will pick you some day.
C: I'm going to marry my girlfriend some day!
Me: You should be allowed to have a girlfriend in the 1st grade!!!

Gosh, these boys warm my heart :)

On a heavier note...

At our staff meeting this morning my school Social Worker talked about reporting abuse, telling us the reasons why it is our job, and how it can help individuals in a bad situation.  Listening to her speak almost broke my heart because of a family situation for one of my kiddos... I can't let go of the fact that I can't fix everything. It's really been weighing HEAVY on my heart that things are changing for him. The things he repeats that he has heard at home are just killing me... And the fact that he can verbalize that he is upset that someone at home is telling him he is not allowed to talk to anyone or tell things to people just plants a seed of suspicion and worry in my mind.

There are so many things in life I wish I could "fix"... and there are things that I just can't let go of.  I don't know how, or maybe I just WON'T let go... The toll this is taking on me is starting to show. How do I do this with grace and sanity???

Swinging Like Superman

Today it wasn't the fists flying, it was my boys :) Recess was great.

Today I was Specially Educated in realizing that you have to celebrate the little moments and HAVE FUN with your job :) Swinging like Superman (swinging on your stomach rather than your bottom ;)) makes children laugh.  Swinging like Superman for ADULTS makes you want to puke. Bahaha. Worth it!
P.S. My mom thinks I'm cool for swinging like this with my students :)

"She has no ears!"

I woke up about 80 times last night due to the huge storm we got.  Thank goodness it was only rain, but I kept waking up to check and see if it was freezing so that I didn't sleep too late and not make it to school on time due to a treacherous commute. Ugh.  I even dreamed about buying an umbrella. No joke.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep and I was feeling VERY tired already when I got to school this morning.

Once I get to the school, this is my routine:
-Lug my bags of crap back into the school (though usually I haven't done ANYTHING that I've taken home to work on...)
-Fob my car locked while juggling said bags
-Let myself into the school
-Unlock my classroom door (with the GOLD key because education is priceless ;)) Bahaha I'm cheesy.
-Flip the lights on
-Shed my load of bags, coat, scarf, and gloves
-Sling my keys onto my desk
-Turn on my computer
-Log in to computer
-Pull up Pandora and start the classical music ;)
-Pull my my attendance so I don't forget
-Log in to email

Okay, so the list goes WAAAAY further even before the kiddos get there, but I'll spare you the rest ;) This is when it gets good.

I open up my email to find something that erased my fatigue in a heartbeat and made the rest of my day more than worth it.  A bit of back-story: last week L's mom asked me to do a quick write-up of how his behavior has changed since they have decreased his medicine early this month so she could send it to the doctor and they could decide whether to keep the meds where they are, or adjust again, and this was her response to that email. (Of course, I was way more detailed than I needed to be, and I gave them monthly averages of his behaviors over the months we have been in school so far, this data coming from his Daily Points Sheet where we keep track of 8 key behaviors: On Task, Stays in Seat, Follows Directions, Positive Peer Interaction, Positive Adult Interaction, Speaks Appropriately, Positive Attitude, and Completes Task)

Briana,
Thank you so much!  That was way more than I expected but I am so glad you did that for us.  I have forwarded it to his Doctor and hope to hear from her sometime this week.  You have done such a wonderful job with him.  I am SO grateful you are his teacher this year! 

L (his mom, which also starts with an L :))

When she came in to drop him off again I thanked her profusely for such a great compliment, and she assured me, again (in person!) of how she is thankful for all of his progress so far this year, and of how happy she is to have me as his teacher :) I was beyond stoked to hear this!!!

This morning I also had a meeting with my Principal about the lesson he observed last week and he ALSO gave me a glowing review.  He said I have the patience of a Saint, and that he could never do my job (not even for a day).  He told me that I've settled in very nicely and that I seem very comfortable and in control in front of my students.  I have been told by a few people that I have one of the hardest jobs and that I'm a perfect fit, but it's so great to hear it from parents and administrators.  My Principal said that even though he has to observe me twice more, he is already ready to write me rave reviews for my Tenure Evaluation process!!!! OH. MY. WORD. :) I'm in the right place.

Today I was Specially Educated in realizing just how much support I have (when it really counts).

My Principal even came to my room today to talk with C after he got into his THIRD fistfight at lunch recess within a week :(  I'm sorely disappointed that I haven't been able to curb this behavior before it got to this point, but it was good to know that he was willing to come down and support me as a teacher, reinforcing what I say with my students.

The title of this blog is almost sad... while C was in time-out for a combination of the fistfight, throwing his papers, breaking crayons, laughing when a peer got into trouble, and many other things (which of course happened over the course of just a couple minutes WHILE the Resource Room teacher was in my room), he was crying and calling out my name and saying he was scared.  When a student is in the Time Away room I am not supposed to respond to them (as that is usually what they want: a reaction), so when he started calling out my name I peeked into the little window to make sure he was okay.  When I didn't respond, C began calling my name louder and shouting, "Hello? Can you hear me? Do you even have ears?" and upon more time passing without a response to him, he began screaming LOUDER, "SHE HAS NO EARS! I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Of course, it breaks my heart to ignore calls like that, but I needed to remain in control of the situation, and C knows that the rules to get out of the Time Away room are to calm down enough to stop shouting out and thrashing. 

As I have said many times, sometimes you just need to laugh so that you don't cry.  So apparently, Mrs. Fankhauser has no ears. *shrug*

Observed

I know this is PAST overdue, so I apologize. Now to get right into it!

Today was my first formal observation by my Principal for my Tenure process.  I had one scheduled way back in November but, to make a long story short, he cancelled it for something silly, which made me pretty upset. We rescheduled for him to see me today and it was FANTASTIC :)

I have these 9 cubes called Rory's Story Cubes.  Each cube has six pictures on it and you roll the cubes and use them to write/tell a story.  It said it could be a good party game, but I'm using it as a teaching tool :)  The kids seem to really enjoy working together (what? crazy, I know!) to write an elaborately imaginative story.  I will have to type them up and post them some day! Yesterday they wrote a story about the cast of Seseme Street and how they went to jail ;)

While being observed we wrote a crazy story about tents, airplanes, parachutes, turning L into a mouse with a magic wand, and other random things.  C and M were SUPER into it, participating and giving great ideas.  L was very much into doing his own thing, which included humming loudly, playing with the cubes, and picking at his hands (which has become a horrible obsession that he obsesses on for HOURS if I don't intervene).  Any question I asked him directly would have to be asked multiple times before I would receive an answer.  I did the usual proximity control, taking the cubes from him while still engaging C and M, giving him warnings, etc., until I could get him to participate as much as he was willing. Definitely not L's worst, thank goodness! Good thing I'm getting so good at multitasking and keeping my temper under wraps!

This is the email that I received from my Principal soon after:

"Hi Briana,

Thanks for welcoming me into your classroom.  You do a very nice job of instructing your students in an engaging way.  M and C were with you most of the time.  And, you brought L along when he needed it.  Are you available to meet at some point early next week to discuss your lesson in more detail?

G"

Not bad, I guess.

Later, after school, I was sitting in the Social Worker's office venting my anxiety about the two new students I am 99% sure I will be taking on soon when my Principal comes in and tells me that he thinks I deserve a medal for my patience with L.  He said that the humming would have driven him crazy, but that I did a fabulous job of planned ignoring and using the behavior plan while keeping the other boys engaged in the lesson.  :) YES.

Yes, I know that my Principal doesn't know much about Special Education (which is extremely unfortunate) but it felt nice to hear such encouraging words about my behavior management and my teaching skills. 

One observation under the belt :) Phew!