Today was the MOTHER of all MONDAYS... and the good news is it HAS to get better from today, right??? :( Today was my biggest challenge yet as a teacher; both behaviorally (them) and emotionally (me and C).
Today was probably the most disheartening day I've had yet with the kiddos. My morning started off 7 minutes before school actually started with little C crying over a warm hard boiled egg that was accidentally left in his lunch box from a lunch LAST week... Hot lunch (which we were resigned to selecting for him) reminds him of his broken past and all that he has walked away from. This child has a heartbreaking story (at the age of 6 years old) about his home life, and this year things have finally turned around and his "new" caregiver (new as his "parent") has turned his whole life around and set him in the right direction with a stern kind of love that will get him far.
This morning, C came off of a weekend with the person who could have potentially ruined his life, and he was distraught with anxiety about life turning back to the way it was, though we ensured him that this would never happen again.
Today, I was Specially Educated with my heartbreak for this sweet boy. I again go over the quote that so many people know: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
This quote took on a whole new meaning as I experienced, for the first time as a teacher on my own, the thing I've always feared would be the most challenging about this job; I can't humanly fix everything, but my heart yearns to do everything in my power to help. I know that the best I can do for this boy is to provide a safe, welcoming, loving environment for him to learn in. I know I can't fix his past, nor erase it. I know I can't control what his life will be like in the future. I ALSO know that I can give him all that I am capable of giving to him to lead him in the right direction, make the best decisions possible, and make the most of the life God has given him.
Today rang true to my biggest fear as a teacher. I was Specially Educated today in realizing that I will do the best with what I am given, and I will show these boys the same. I will love them, and I do.
P.S. A little cheery tidbit from my special L.
L was sent back from his General Ed class today because he "didn't have a pencil", so he was scribbling all over his paper with a yellow colored pencil. I can't figure out why the teacher wouldn't just give him a pencil (LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES!) and avoid the whole fiasco, but I guess if she had done the logical thing I wouldn't have this little piece of gold to share with you ;)
L gets back to my classroom, sits calmly at his desk, and thoroughly completes the task the Gen Ed teacher asked of him, plus more (when provided with a pencil).
L says: "Don't you love it when I come back to your classroom and do my work?"
Yes, L :) But I wish you would have done it in Gen Ed!!!!!!!! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment